110 Petty Instagram Captions for Ex to Show You’re Moving On

There’s no two ways about it. Breakups suck. Whether you dumped your ex or you were left heartbroken, every serious…

There’s no two ways about it. Breakups suck. Whether you dumped your ex or you were left heartbroken, every serious relationship leaves a whirlwind of emotions in its wake.

What are you going to do about it?

Well, that depends on who you are — but chances are, if you’ve just broken up and you’re on Instagram, you will post about it at some point. Some people miss their exes and would love to rekindle that flame. Others give in to their petty side and post shady, savage Instagram captions about their breakup.

Goals can range from venting to showing your ex you’re better off alone, and from making your ex jealous to finding support for your grief. No matter what you want to say, we’ll help you out with a massive list of petty Instagram captions for exes everywhere.

How to Write Petty Instagram Captions for Ex

One size doesn’t fit all. That’s to say, Instagram captions to make him want you back are going to be very different from those that make him jealous you’re happy on your own and living your best life. Here are some tips to get you started:

  • Yeah, you’re here for petty Instagram captions for your ex, and we get it — but remember that the internet is forever, and you may say something you regret later. When in doubt, write that savage caption for ex, but don’t post it. Let it sit until you feel a little better.
  • If you know your ex is stalking your Instagram, you have a great chance to show him or her how you feel. Whether you’re getting your life together and discovering a whole new side to yourself, or you wish you never broke up, Instagram gives you a direct line. Show your ex how you really are if you dare.
  • Your followers will probably get it. Everyone’s broken up before, after all. Still, petty Instagram captions about your ex should never be all you post. People will get bored pretty quickly, and they might even unfollow you.

Save your savage captions for Instagram about your ex for your darkest moments, or start posting them when you’re over your ex and ready to explore a whole new side of yourself!

As for the Instagram captions for your ex on our list, they’re free for the taking — but if you post them to your feed, they become your responsibility! Your mileage may vary, as will the reactions you can expect.

Ridiculously Petty Instagram Captions for Ex

  1. You still owe me $2 for that hotdog six months ago. Call me to let me know when you can give it back.
  2. Let’s face it. You never managed to steal my heart. You only ever got as far as my sweaters.
  3. Yeah, I can be stupid. Just look at my ex to see what I’m talking about.
  4. You and me, never meant to be.
  5. Tomorrow’s trash day. I hope you’re ready.
  6. All I have to remember you by are the dirty socks you left on the floor. Good riddance.
  7. PSA: When someone shows you who they are, believe them and never look back.
  8. Got 99 problems, but you sure ain’t one of them anymore.
  9. What hurts the most is that I ever saw something in you in the first place.
  10. Wearing black. Black like your heart.

Savage Breakup Instagram Captions

  1. Some people are best left in your rearview mirror.
  2. I call this look “better off without you.” Isn’t it stunning?
  3. Girls just wanna move on.
  4. I might have lost you, but look at the smile I got in return.
  5. Yeah, bye. Don’t forget to take your stupid Star Wars stuff with you.
  6. You’re just an ugly stain on my perfect carpet. Hard to get rid of, but everything’s better once you do.
  7. Thanks for the free XP. It taught me what to avoid in the future.
  8. Friendly reminder: You gotta try before you buy. That way, you know you’re not getting trash.
  9. You’re the rain to my sunshine, and I’m making my own rainbows today, thanks very much.
  10. Body: 5 pounds heavier. Heart: 1,000 pounds lighter.

Toxic Instagram Captions for Ex

  1. Too busy living my best life to care you still stalk me on Insta. Enjoy and find some inspiration.
  2. If you have to chase your dreams, maybe they’re nightmares. Just sayin’.
  3. It’s not my fault you suck so hard, and now, it’s not my problem either.
  4. So I got “dating a loser” ticked off my bucket list… Now onto the good stuff.
  5. When you’re a Queen, and he’s a used car salesman…
  6. They say love is blind. They must be right because I can see clearly now.
  7. I’m too hot to handle? K, bye.
  8. Sorry, I can’t hear you over the sound of my awesome self.
  9. You called? Sorry, I blocked your number. I don’t talk to losers.
  10. You broke my heart, but watch out. These shards can slice.

Instagram Captions to Make Him Regret Breaking Up With You

  1. Here’s a little taste of what you’re missing out on.
  2. I’m happy, but you’re no longer the reason.
  3. Where there was love and laughter, there’s now an empty couch. Our show’s still on, but it isn’t the same without you.
  4. I still wear your hoodie, and it still smells of you. Sweet nostalgia with a touch of pain.
  5. Plate full, heart empty.
  6. Life goes on. I live for me now…
  7. Just because you’re no longer my happy place doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
  8. Over him? Nah, it’s just a little thing called “fake it until you make it.”
  9. I wonder if he knows how much I cried. I wonder if he cares.
  10. Still feel his energy wherever I go. It just reminds me of shattered dreams.

Savage Ex Captions for Instagram About Annoying Habits

  1. On the plus side, I no longer have to wait three hours for you to be “ready in five minutes.”
  2. New life, new me, new perfectly organized closet with nobody to mess it up.
  3. The best thing about being single? I’m free! I’ll never pretend to like baseball for anyone, ever again.
  4. Live smells better without your sweaty socks.
  5. I mean, really? Who clips their toes on the edge of the bed and just leaves it there, know what I mean?
  6. Breakups mean freedom from stupid “culinary adventures.” McDonald’s, how I missed you.
  7. Glad to see you go, but never having to see your stupid friends again helps, too.
  8. Bliss is never arguing about dishes with you again.
  9. Sure, I forgive you, but when I start dating again, I’ll immediately ask if she asks her friends for their opinions before making any little decision. Lessons were learned.
  10. Happiness is not looking at pictures of your stupid abs.

Instagram Captions to Make a Girl Jealous

  1. Life’s good. Maybe I’ll email you about it sometime.
  2. The party’s over. Time to focus on the things that matter.
  3. Sorry, Cupid, your last arrows made me immune.
  4. Relationship status: Loving this slice of pizza.
  5. Sorry, who are you again?
  6. On a date with my dog. The best thing? So much cuter than you.
  7. Single, free, and ready to mingle!
  8. Sometimes, bitter pills are the best medicine. Look at me now!
  9. Turns out… It wasn’t me, it was you.
  10. Slide into my DMs. They’re wide open.

Nostalgic Instagram Captions to Make Your Ex Miss You

  1. The cat still checks every room, looking for you. But the apartment is empty now.
  2. I can’t go to our restaurant anymore. I still hear our laughter. I still feel our love.
  3. Missing your sweet smile.
  4. If it’s a new chapter, why does it hurt so much?
  5. Stronger than yesterday, weaker than tomorrow, still can’t do it alone.
  6. Now I’m in charge of the bright future we were meant to build together.
  7. That moment when you accidentally pick up the phone to tell your boyfriend about something funny, and you remember you’ve broken up.
  8. I’ll be happy here right by myself.
  9. Tuesday is still Taco Day. Some things never change.
  10. I can’t help it. I still miss him.

Instagram Captions for Your Ex About Living Your Best Life

  1. I’m no damsel in distress. I don’t need saving. I’ve got my back.
  2. Sisters before misters.
  3. Sharing is caring, but I get to eat all the popcorn now.
  4. That last pizza slice? All mine.
  5. Living the single life, loving every minute.
  6. Some things have to fall apart for things to get better.
  7. No boyfriend, no problems.
  8. Keep calm and dance the night away.
  9. Even TV is better without you by my side!
  10. My only regret? Should have broken up earlier.

Great Breakup Quotes for Instagram Captions for Ex

  1. “Never love anybody who treats you like you’re ordinary.” — Oscar Wilde
  2. “Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.” — Marilyn Monroe
  3. “The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it.” — Nicholas Sparks
  4. “Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares.” — Aman Jassal
  5. “The hottest love has the coldest end.” — Socrates
  6. “It’s amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces.” — Ella Harper
  7. “He was both everything I could ever want, and nothing I could ever have.” ― Ranata Suzuki
  8. “And now you’ve lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive.” ― Keith Urban
  9. “Somehow everything I own smells of you, and for the tiniest moment it’s all not true.” ― Snow Patrol
  10. “It’s so hard to forget pain, but it’s even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness.” — Chuck Palahniuk

Short Shady Instagram Captions for Ex

  1. OK, bye.
  2. The pain made me stronger.
  3. Living for me now.
  4. This Queen doesn’t need a King.
  5. Better off alone.
  6. Ready for adventure!
  7. Nightlife? I’m in!
  8. Found my happiness while distracting myself from the pain.
  9. Thanks for setting me free.
  10. Petty party time.

Creative Writing Prompts for Petty Instagram Captions for Ex

Still looking for Instagram captions to make him jealous or show her how much happier you are single? Our advice? Discover what you feel like alone, allow every little moment of freedom to fuel your joy, and then post about it on Instagram. The best petty captions aren’t about the past. They’re about the future — and the future isn’t just bright, it’s yours.

Use our creative writing prompts as inspo for your own unique petty Instagram captions for your ex. It’s easy. All you have to do? Pick your poison and finish the sentence.

  1. My favorite thing about breaking up with you? I no longer have to deal with your…
  2. Every cloud has a silver lining, and this one screams…
  3. I can’t say I’ll miss…
  4. When you finally discover you’re your own favorite flavor and…
  5. Too busy to be bitter. Today, I’m discovering…
  6. Life is better when you’re…
  7. That feeling when you create your own kind of chaos, and you don’t have time for…
  8. The one thing I definitely don’t miss about my ex? …
  9. This outfit screams freedom and…
  10. The best thing about being single? …

FAQ About Ex Captions for Instagram

Why write petty Instagram captions for ex?

Honestly, breakups hurt and Instagram is a big part of your life. It’s normal to want to vent, and even gripe a little. Letting it all out can help you feel better, and you may even find some support. After all, most of your followers will be all too familiar with the pain of breaking up!

What are some good hashtags to include in Instagram captions for your ex?

Breakup-related hashtags you’ll see Instagram users add to posts include #breakup, #heartbroken, #loveyourself, #breakupadvice, #brokeneart, #sad, and #movingon. These hashtags can add personality to your caption, but they also make your posts easier to discover.