80 Stupid Instagram Captions for All Your Dumbest Moments

There’s a whole army of Instagram users who are doing their best to attract followers and boost their engagement rates…

There’s a whole army of Instagram users who are doing their best to attract followers and boost their engagement rates the conventional way. You’ll find them all over the internet, learning about camera angles, lighting, aspect ratios, relevant hashtags, and, of course, writing witty, clever, and compelling Instagram captions to impress their followers.

Why try to fit in when you know standing out is a crucial aspect of getting noticed on Instagram? As that famous quote going around online says, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”!

Dare to be different. Write dumb Instagram captions.

You’ll find a list of exceedingly stupid Instagram captions below — but, just in case you don’t “get it,” we’ll start off with an in-depth exploration of the enduring power of dumb captions for Instagram and the reasons to write them. (If you need it. Well, you did Google “stupid Instagram captions” to get here, right!?)

What Are Stupid Instagram Captions?

Just scroll through your feed to find out!

Dumb Instagram captions can fall into a few different categories, which somehow reminds us of what Tolstoy said about families. You know? The bit where all happy families are alike, but every unhappy family having a unique way to be unhappy?

Let’s try to narrow that down a little! Some of the categories of dumb Instagram captions we’ve come across include:

  • Silly Instagram captions that don’t make a whole lot of sense but remain genuinely entertaining. These captions thrive on a diet of in-jokes that leave outsiders scratching their heads in bewilderment, while feeding true friends with hidden gems of genius.
  • Dense-sounding captions that include typos, nonsensical grammar, or statements that simply don’t make any sense. They may be fueled by a few too many cocktails on a long Friday night, a persistent lack of sleep, or factors that shall remain a mystery.
  • “Oops, I copy/pasted the wrong thing” captions. This speaks for itself, and might include portions of emails, unrelated quotes from books, or even website links.
  • Intentionally stupid Instagram captions that reflect a particular mood — you know, the one where all energy has left the building and your mental batteries are running on 1%, and you feel the desperate need to share that with your Insta fam?
  • A particular brand of “silly but cute” funny Instagram captions for girls, often centering around ideas like “no brain, but am cute.” This one’s a bit “meta,” because it’s arguably a little dumb to denigrate yourself like that. Don’t do it! You’re worth more than that!
  • Stupid captions for Instagram where users reflect on the dumb things you did — sometimes for fun, and sometimes to apologize.

Then, there are captions that simply miss the mark. It happens to all of us!

Why Would You Want to Write Dumb Instagram Captions?

Why Would You Want to Write Dumb Instagram Captions?

Beats us!

On a more serious note, you might take pleasure in the absurd and discover the comic relief your stupidest dumb captions for Instagram bring your followers (and yourself). In that case, you’ll find the best captions for you in our “very random stupid Instagram captions” section.

You might want to vent about something you’re failing at and bring a hefty dose of self-deprecating humor to the virtual table. You’ll earn laughter, recognition, and respect along the way in that case, especially because so many Instagram users try to portray their lives as picture-perfect. Most of our dumb captions for Instagram fall into this category, and you’ll have lots of different contexts to choose from!

How to Write Stupid Captions for Instagram: a Step-by-Step Guide

Take this guide to writing stupid captions for Instagram as it’s intended — in a tongue-in-cheek manner! We all know the best instructions are the easiest to understand, and that means they don’t just have to make sense but also progress in a linear fashion. Sorry, that’s not going to happen here. We’re talking about stupid captions for Instagram, after all!

(If you’re here to learn how not to write dumb captions for Instagram, that works, too. Just don’t do any of these things.)

Step 1: Make Your Caption Entirely Irrelevant to Your Instagram Post

Take a picture of a beautiful sunset and write a caption about going to the hairdresser. Post a video of a dance tutorial for summer and write about that magical Christmas spirit. Write your caption before choosing a picture. We’ve got 80 dumb Instagram captions here. Why not choose a random number and then just add whatever you land on to your next post?

Step 2: Maybe Run Your Caption Through Google Translate a Few Times

Head over to Google Translate, translate your dumb Instagram captions into 10 different languages without pausing, and then translate it back to English. Post the result, and we can almost guarantee it will be quite dim.

Step 3: Add Some Comments About Feeling Unintelligent

For an extra dose of stupid with sprinkles on top, actually mention how stupid your dumb Instagram captions are — or talk about feeling dull. “Error 404: Brain cells not found” is always a winner, for example (which is why you’ll find it again down below!).

Step 4: Add Silly Tech Questions

“How to edit Instagram captions after posting them?” is one way to stand out, but you could also ask if you can buy a physical copy of Instagram somewhere.

Step 5: Max Out All Your Hashtags and Make Them Overly Long

This one’s especially great if your stupid Instagram captions are very short. While you’re at it, make sure your hashtags are completely irrelevant to both your caption and the photo or video you post.

Step 6: Bring on the Emoji Dump

Well-placed emojis play a vital role in building engagement when you’re writing clever or funny captions, and most Instagram users know that a few emojis often make much more of an impact than an ocean.

Make your followers drown in emojis if you want to write dumb captions for Instagram. And, of course, double and triple check that the emojis you use have absolutely nothing to do with either your content or your caption. Snowflakes for a sunny day are great, for instance, and you’ll definitely want to use five to 10 copies of the same emoji.

A List of Stupid Instagram Captions for Your Enjoyment

A List of Stupid Instagram Captions for Your Enjoyment

You’re still here? Hi! You must really be desperate for some dumb captions for Instagram! Come hear the good gospel of stupid Instagram captions here, and feel absolutely free to copy and paste any of them straight to your (soon-to-be puzzled) social media crowd!

Stupid Instagram Captions About Being Stupid

1. Sorry, my brain cells went out to buy some milk five weeks ago, and I’m still waiting to hear back from them.

2. My brain is smaller than a truck. Oh, wait, no! A truck was big, right?

3. Error 404: Brain cells not found.

4. Proud to be stupid.

5. Think less, stupid more.

6. Brain? Is that a cool new app I can download?

7. Sometimes you can’t even throw a bag of sh*t into a car if it’s a convertible. That’s me today.

8. Silly is my Plan A.

9. Brain broken, how fix?

10. I tried to wash my hair, but the shampoo didn’t come with instructions.

Dumb Instagram Captions for All Those ‘Overworked — Brain Broken’ Moments

11. Brain no work, I no work. Simple.

12. I would, but my IQ has taken an early retirement.

13. Sorry, no, but here’s a meme for you to enjoy.

14. Oh, the coffee was in the fridge? No idea how that got there.

15. Sorry I’m late. I couldn’t find the way in, and the dog ate my homework, and my WiFi is broken.

16. Missing: Brain. Please contact me if you spot it. Probably got lost sleepwalking to that one meeting two months ago.

17. Oopsie. Wasn’t me.

18. No, I’m pretty sure that wasn’t my fault, because I didn’t do it. Or anything else. I did nothing.

19. Pretty sure I misplaced that at the dry cleaner’s.

20. Sorry, my work ethic is taking a vacation in La-La Land!

Stupid Instagram Captions About DIY Projects and IKEA Assembly

21. Yes, but can duct tape fix that?

22. Love is the answer to all of life’s problems. Also turn it upside down, maybe?

23. Hello, IKEA? How assemble?

24. Next step: Pour some hot water on it and hope it’s Instant Furniture.

25. Every problem is a nail, and every solution is a hammer.

26. Oh, these numbers were in Swedish?

27. But it looks the same as the picture, doesn’t it? Why doesn’t it work?

28. Alexa, assemble this for me.

29. Daaaddddy?

30. I want to return this. Look, I already assembled it for you.

Stupid Instagram Captions About DIY Projects and IKEA Assembly

Stupid Instagram Captions About Kitchen Fails

31. Like if you’ve done this, too.

32. Oh, I was meant to turn the oven off after the cake was done? And take the cake out?

33. Yay! Scrambled pancakes!

34. I had a light bulb moment today. It didn’t cook well.

35. Fried oven glove for dinner!

36. Look, it’s self-expression, OK?

37. This is my new pet.

38. Every failure is a win.

39. I hope the junkyard has space for this.

40. Step 2: Order takeout and burn that, too.

Dumb Captions for Instagram About Questionable Fashion Choices

41. I swear this will be trendy one day.

42. It’s my party and I can look stupid if I want to.

43. Terrible hair, don’t care.

44. What do you mean I can’t wear this? I am just expressing my individuality.

45. Today’s look: Burst radiator meets free-range chickens.

46. I call this one “wet dog at the bus stop.”

47. It looks better from a distance.

48. No, just take your glasses off to see how awesome this is.

49. If it bothers you, nobody’s forcing you to look.

50. It’s modern art!

Dumb Instagram Captions for Amateur Philosophers

51. Sometimes you need to go backward to go forward, so just keep going back and forth.

52. Life is so surreal when you eat that cereal. To make it make sense, just add sprinkles and a teeny, tiny little cherry on top.

53. Break glass in case of emergency.

54. Sometimes the journey is the destination, and life gives you lemons to sell for money.

55. Keep it simple. I do.

56. Life is a rollercoaster and I want to throw up.

57. Always look on the bright side and remember that things can get worse.

58. You can’t save people, you can only love them. — Stupid Mottoes for Lifeguards

59. It takes no effort to do nothing, so just do that.

60. Always look up to people who make silly decisions because that is how you get smarter.

Dumb Instagram Captions for Amateur Philosophers

Very Random Stupid Instagram Captions

61. I like succulents. They suck.

62. Light switches are my favorite food.

63. If you dip Oreos in milk, you get chocolate milk. Budget tips.

64. Practice makes perfect.

65. Remember to never forget to remember, and always remember to forget.

66. Roll out the red carpet for the traffic jam.

67. Something will eventually happen if I just keep standing here. Surprise me.

68. I can’t see anything when I close my eyes.

69. Random stuff is the stupidest stuff, but sometimes it’s just random. Like this.

70. Hello, life goals? Wake up!

Stupid Puns for Dumb Instagram Captions

71. Ketchup with my brand of dumb.

72. I’m feeling punbelievably silly right now.

73. Moo-ving on to the next bad idea…

74. Pun-cturing the dumb Instagram caption ceiling, one dumb pun at a time.

75. Makeup and smell the coffee.

76. I’m gonna fake it till I break it.

77. Puns are so punny!

78. Doing nothing today, sofa, so good.

79. Donut worry, be silly.

80. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.